About Me
- I am so Freakin Bored
- ok so basically i find the funny stuff online and post'em here, nothing creative i know, but it's better to have a page containing funny quotes, jokes, pics etc than having it for jokes only, or videos only, you know what i mean, duh.
8.11.10
7.11.10
6.11.10
Things You Never Hear in Church
Hey! It's MY turn to sit on the front pew!
I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went over time 25 minutes.
Personally, I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
I've decided to give our church the $500.00 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.
I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.
Forget the denominational minimum salary: let's pay our pastor so she/he can live like we do.
I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!
Since we're all here, let's start the worship service early!
Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.
I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went over time 25 minutes.
Personally, I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
I've decided to give our church the $500.00 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.
I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.
Forget the denominational minimum salary: let's pay our pastor so she/he can live like we do.
I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!
Since we're all here, let's start the worship service early!
Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.
Making Cakes
There was a family: mum, dad, brother, and two twin sisters the brother being the eldest child.
One day the mum decided to take the two twin daughters out to the zoo. The girls saw two monkeys having sex and asked: "Mum what are those monkeys doing?", the mother replied: "Oh, they're just making cakes."
The next day they went to the park and saw two dogs and asked: "Mum, what are those dogs doing?", the mother replied: "Oh, they're just making cakes."
The following day the family is at home and the two daughters go upstairs and run down to tell their brother "Mum and dad have been making cakes", he replies "How do you know?" they answer "because we just licked the icing of the bed."
One day the mum decided to take the two twin daughters out to the zoo. The girls saw two monkeys having sex and asked: "Mum what are those monkeys doing?", the mother replied: "Oh, they're just making cakes."
The next day they went to the park and saw two dogs and asked: "Mum, what are those dogs doing?", the mother replied: "Oh, they're just making cakes."
The following day the family is at home and the two daughters go upstairs and run down to tell their brother "Mum and dad have been making cakes", he replies "How do you know?" they answer "because we just licked the icing of the bed."
Blonde at store
A blonde walks into a store and sees a t.v. that she wants. So she goes to the front desk and said "I would like to buy that tv." Then the clerk said, "Sorry, I don't sell to blondes." She comes back the next day with red hair and she asked for the tv. The clerk said, "Sorry, I don't sell to blondes." The day after that, she came back with black hair and asked for the tv. The clerk said, "Sorry, I don't sell to blondes" The day after that she came back with green hair and asked for the tv. The clerk said, "Sorry, I don't sell to blondes." She said, "OK, good job, but how did you know I was a blonde?" The clerk says, "That's not a tv, that's a microwave."
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